Infamous Love Page 7

  “Do you have life figured out, Dr. Stanton?”

  I’d thought so until Ed made me rethink everything. “I think so. I want to buy the vet clinic when Ed retires.”

  “Is that happening?”

  “He mentioned it the other day, but he has reservations about it.” I was still mulling over the ramifications of buying a home. I couldn’t obtain anything I wasn’t willing to lose.

  Her brow furrowed. “He doesn’t think you’d be a good owner?”

  “His clients are loyal. When I first moved here, it was difficult to convince some of his longstanding clients to see me if he wasn’t available.” I spoke carefully, thinking things out in my head, to see if there was a way for me to get the clinic.

  I glanced over at Elle in time to see her nod with a knowing smile. “Ah. I can see that. People can be set in their ways. Surely, that’s improved over time.”

  One thing that had bothered me since my meeting with Ed was his criticism of how I talked to clients. I was intentionally brief with them, not wanting to establish connections with anyone. I hadn’t realized how that might affect me being a good business owner one day. It was something Elle didn’t have to worry about. She was inherently likable. “Ed said I can be cold—not to the animals—but to people.”

  She was quiet, not acknowledging my statement.

  My stomach dropped. “You think so too.”

  “You were a little cold when we met in your office.” She shrugged like it was no big deal. “But I get why. You’re better with animals.”

  Appreciating her honesty, I winked at her. “Being good with animals is an important quality when you’re a vet.”

  She sucked in a breath. “It is, but your clients are people.”

  I tightened my fingers on the wheel, focusing on the road. “True. I’ll try to do better.”

  “If you let people see this side of you, the one I saw tonight, I think you’d prove Ed wrong.”

  “Yeah?” Was I that different tonight than when I was in the office? I tried to be clinical with clients, giving them the facts. I thought that made me appear to be more confident, more knowledgeable. I thought they’d respect me more.

  “You were more open. You’re good to the Rigbys.”

  My heart pinched at her assessment of me. “Ed wants to know that I’m here to stay. That I’m not going to leave.”

  “Are you planning to leave?” She shifted in the seat to face me.

  I felt her gaze on the side of my face, the intense focus on my answer. Did the answer matter to her? “If he sells me the practice, I won’t. I can’t rule it out otherwise.”

  “That’s fair. You have nothing keeping you here? No family?”

  “The Rigbys are my family.” It wasn’t a lie. It was the truth.

  “They might as well be family. They’re so welcoming.”

  Happy she saw what I saw, I agreed. “They’re great people.”

  “How are you going to prove to Ed you’re serious about staying?”

  It felt good that she was concerned. I missed someone being invested in the decisions I made, my future. “Short of buying a home, dating someone, and getting married, I don’t know.”

  She was quiet for a few seconds as she mulled over my response. Finally, she asked softly, “Are you dating anyone?”

  I wasn’t sure how to answer. I wasn’t, but the more I was around her the more I wish I could be with someone like her. She was too good for me. The type that wouldn’t be mine for long. “Not currently.”

  “That seems like an easy thing to fix. You asked me to go to the Rigbys. We ate pie together. That was similar to a date.”

  I shifted in my seat. She hadn’t answered when I asked her on a date, yet she was quick to call this one. I wasn’t sure where I stood with her. “Are you saying we should date?”

  She blushed, looking down at her hands in her lap. “It’s probably not a good idea. I just moved here. I want people to respect me and my business. I probably shouldn’t be jumping into anything personal. People might gossip, ask questions.”

  I wondered why she was worried about people asking questions. Was she hiding something? Was there something in her past she wasn’t proud of? If so, we had something in common. “If your business fails, will you go back to LA?”

  I hated to insinuate there was a possibility of her business failing, but I had to know what her plans were. I’d avoided taking any risks. Starting something with someone who could leave had me on edge.

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” she said dryly. “But you’re right. I have nothing keeping me here either.”

  The rest of the ride to the parking lot was quiet. No matter how attractive she was, there was no future for us. She wasn’t looking for anything, and I’d sworn off relationships because people always left.

  I pulled into the lot, parking next to her SUV.

  “Thanks for inviting me. I enjoyed meeting the Rigbys and spending more time with you.”

  She made no move to open the door. I wasn’t sure if she expected me to say something more. I enjoyed spending time with her too. I didn’t think it was a good idea to tell her what I was thinking, that I wanted something with her. I wanted more of the feelings she evoked when she was around―comfort, desire.

  “What are your plans for the clinic if Ed sells to you?”

  Should I share my dreams with her? “I don’t have any immediate plans to change anything. The one thing I’ve always wanted to do was add a rescue. We have this huge lobby with room to expand the kennel area. We could work with another local rescue to house more dogs so they aren’t in kill shelters.”

  I held my breath as I waited for her response. I’d never told anyone, not even Henry, what I wanted to do with the clinic. Saying things out loud meant believing in them, knowing they’d happen when I was never sure of anything.

  “Have you told Ed that?” She shifted in her seat, her eyes trained on me.

  I sighed, a little embarrassed that I was afraid to voice my thoughts. Things that came so easily for other people, talking about their hopes and dreams for the future, were difficult for me. “No. I’m not sure how he’d take it. I’m worried he wouldn’t like it.”

  Elle bit her lip. “Or he might see it as your commitment to staying. Are you the kind of guy who walks away from something you start?”

  “Not usually.” The intimacy in the cab of the truck reminded me of dating Aubrey in high school. Sitting in my truck with a pretty girl, wondering if she’d accept my advances. Being with Elle was familiar, easy. Her scent filled the cab, overwhelming my senses. The gentle curve of her lips drew me in.

  “Maybe he’ll see this as a way for you to show you’re invested in the community and the clinic. It doesn’t hurt to try.”

  I tried to focus on what she was saying instead of how good it felt to be with her. I weighed the risks of being upfront with Ed about my plans. He might decide I wasn’t the right person to take over the clinic, or it might sway him in my direction. “You might be right.”

  She smiled then, her gaze on me. Her hand covered mine. At her touch, I lost any interest in talking about the clinic. I licked my suddenly dry lips, my heart racing. I wanted to lean closer, eliminating the space between us, and drop a kiss on her lips.

  But I wasn’t ready. One kiss with Elle would mean something to her. She’d want a relationship, intimacy, honesty. I wasn’t sure I could have that anymore. How could I open myself to someone when I hadn’t done that since high school?

  Instead of leaning in closer, I gently pulled my hand from hers, averting my gaze. “Thanks for coming tonight.”

  I kept my voice soft, hoping she wouldn’t take it as a rejection. I wanted her. I just wasn’t sure I could have her. I could feel her gaze searching my face. I refused to meet her eyes.

  “Thanks for inviting me. I had a good time.”

  The words hung in the air between us, ripe with expectation. I couldn’t acknowledge it. If I leaned over, I’d kiss her
like I wanted to, passionate and unrestrained. Instead of burying my hands in her hair, I curled them into fists. Making a move wouldn’t be fair to her.

  “I have to open the shop tomorrow, so I’d better get going.” She wasn’t looking at me anymore. She pushed open the door, urging Crew to hop out. “Good night, Gray.”

  I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. I was afraid I’d ask to see her again. I was afraid I’d touch her, pulling her in for that kiss; that if I started, I wouldn’t want to stop. It would be too easy to fall into her, into a relationship, a life. I didn’t want to see the disappointment on her face when she discovered my past. I didn’t want her to think less of me.

  She shut the door, easing into her vehicle before I could respond. I wanted to push her away. So why did I feel like I just kicked her puppy?

  Chapter 8

  Gray

  * * *

  Elle’s suggestion that I speak to my boss about the rescue tumbled around in my head as I drove home. Maybe Henry and Elle were right. I’d been merely existing, staying in the same apartment, making plans for the clinic, and not doing anything about my future. I was in limbo waiting for Ed to decide when he wanted to retire and to feel comfortable selling. I’d only envisioned the things I’d do after all of that happened. If I acted on some of those plans sooner, maybe Ed would feel more confident handing the practice over to me.

  The idea of being proactive was unsettling. The decision to go to school on the other side of the country, to move here and work for Ed, had all been carefully calculated moves. Buying a home and dating a woman seemed impulsive when I didn’t know what the future held.

  I needed to ask Ed if he’d be open to boarding more dogs for local rescues. If he was against the idea, he might not want to sell to me. But what if he liked it? The thought of having more control over the business and more room to make improvements was heady. I’d been taking the easy route since I graduated from vet school. It was past time I did more to secure the future I wanted instead of waiting for it to happen.

  When I woke up the next morning, I felt restless with nervous energy. I took a quick shower, grabbing a to-go mug of coffee before heading to work. Inside the clinic, I paused at the receptionist’s desk to talk to Anne.

  Rapping my knuckles on the counter, I asked, “Is Ed in?”

  “He’s going to be in a little later this morning. Why?” Anne’s brow furrowed as she looked up from her computer screen.

  “Can you tell him I need to talk to him?”

  Her shoulders relaxed. “Of course.”

  “Thanks.” I rapped my knuckles on the counter again, moving to walk away. “Oh, can you send me the list of rescues we give discounts to?”

  “Sure.” Anne looked like she wanted to ask follow-up questions, but she didn’t. “I’ll email it to you.”

  “Great.” I headed toward my office with renewed purpose. If Ed were on board, I’d check with the rescues to ascertain needs for boarding before drawing up plans to renovate.

  I didn’t want to get too far ahead of myself. Now that I’d made the decision to move forward, my mind was full of possibilities for the practice.

  I ran through my morning appointments, getting more nervous about my upcoming pitch to Ed. I almost found myself hoping Crew ate something or got into another minor mishap so I could see his owner. I wanted her sweet optimism to wrap around me, buoying me for the conversation I needed to have.

  Ed popped his head into my office at lunch. “You wanted to see me?”

  Was I making a mistake in being honest with him? What if he hated my ideas? I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants. “Yes. Please shut the door. Have a seat.”

  “You went to the bank?” Ed sat across from me.

  I relaxed slightly, knowing this piece was taken care of. “Everything’s in order. The business was valued, and the bank approved me for a loan.”

  I’d be using a large chunk of my savings to buy the clinic, but it’s what I intended to do with the money. Secure my future. Buy something that couldn’t be taken away from me.

  Ed nodded in approval. “Great.”

  I took a deep breath before telling him my plans. What I had to tell him could change everything. “I’ve thought about the possibility of opening up boarding to local rescues. We could add more kennels with more staff on nights and weekends to care for the animals. We’d take care of the dogs until a foster home is found, allowing more to be brought into the rescue, getting them out of the shelters before their time is up.”

  Voicing my ideas out loud made me feel vulnerable. Putting them out there gave him the power to reject them, reject me. My body was rigid waiting for his response.

  Ed rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Why do you want to do this?”

  “I realize it’s minimal profit to us. We’d be offering boarding at a reduced cost to the rescue, increasing our staff costs, but I think it would be nice for the community. We’d be working with local rescues, keeping in close contact, figuring out what they need.”

  “It’s not a bad idea.”

  I relaxed my shoulders, breathing easier knowing he was at least receptive to my suggestions.

  “You have anything else going on in that head of yours?”

  I shifted in my chair, excited that he seemed interested in hearing more. He’d been receptive to my idea for the kennels, maybe he’d be open to the mobile vet clinic, the idea I’d had since vet school. “I’ve thought about offering a vaccine clinic. I could have a mobile van and take it to communities who don’t have access to vets or can’t afford to pay their vet bills.”

  “You’d be offering that at a reduced cost?” He leaned forward in his chair, his thoughtful gaze focused on me.

  I was aware that some business owners were purely about profit. I hoped Ed was more open-minded than that. Keeping myself distanced from people, especially Ed, put me at a disadvantage in not knowing how he’d react. “I’d like to offer them for free.”

  He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s an interesting idea. How do you propose we pay for this?”

  I channeled Elle’s enthusiasm from last night. “We can ask for donations from the community, or we could get high school volunteers to help. Many students have service hours to complete before graduation.” I placed my elbows on my desk, trying to contain my excitement that Ed seemed open to my plan.

  “I love the idea of partnering with the community, strengthening our presence, our ties. My only caveat is you’re in charge. You talk to the rescues, inquire with other vet clinics who offer a mobile unit, see if it’s feasible. I’ll look into the finances to see how much we can afford.”

  Pride filled me that he liked my ideas and wanted me to take the lead on it. This was what I wanted, to be in charge and implement my ideas. “If we don’t have the funds for the mobile unit, I can take my medical bag with me to administer the vaccines. We’d just need a spot to set up, maybe a local community center.”

  Ed steepled his hands, considering me. “I like your initiative. How long have you been sitting on these plans?”

  “For a while now. I was hoping to implement them if I became the owner,” I said my words carefully, wondering how he would take my admission.

  “Hmm. What happens if you decide to leave? Who runs it then?”

  My heart sunk. We were back to his disbelief I’d stick around. “I told you before, I don’t have any plans to leave.”

  “You buy yourself a home yet?”

  I bit back a groan. “I’m thinking about it.”

  The thought caused my neck to prickle with worry, my palms to sweat. It was a huge decision. It would take a sizable chunk of the trust fund I’d carefully added to over the years.

  “Good. I’d like to see you settled before I retire. Not planting your roots here makes it seem like you’ve never viewed Telluride as your home.” He stood, opening the door to leave. He paused in the doorway. “I think you need to give it a chance.”

  After he le
ft, I turned my attention to my computer screen. I was ready to start over if word got out about who I was. It had been twelve years since everything imploded. The corruption ran deep, spreading from local businesses to deputies, making national news, shaking our small community.

  Being honest with Ed made me feel vulnerable, so I did what I usually did when that feeling crept in, I sifted through the articles from the initial raid, the hearings, trials, and the sentencings for anything new to reassure myself nothing had changed. Relieved there wasn’t any news, I closed it out, clearing my search history. The last thing I needed was for someone to use my computer, find the article, and recognize my last name.

  I made the obligatory calls to my mother during the holidays, even visited occasionally. When I went home, the old feelings resurfaced. She’d never traveled outside of our small town, so I didn’t worry she’d come here.

  I finished out the rest of my appointments for the day, happy there were no emergencies. I closed the clinic, wondering if I should text Henry to ask him to meet me for dinner. I wasn’t ready to go back to my empty apartment. I needed a friendly face right now. I needed someone who made me feel good in their presence. An image of Elle’s face in my truck last night filled my vision. She was the one I wanted to talk to about this.

  I didn’t know what I was going to do. I drove into town, parking my truck on the street. I told myself I was just going to walk by her barbershop to see if it was open, to see if she was okay. Her shop was on the corner with two bay windows facing the sidewalk. They were filled with fall decorations, pumpkins, and small scarecrows. I saw her standing behind a man seated in her chair talking to him in the mirror. He turned, their eyes meeting. I imagined he was flirting with her, asking her out. Why wouldn’t he? Elle was new to town. She was young and beautiful, clearly successful.

  I pulled open the heavy wooden door before I could think it through. The bell over the door signaled my arrival.

  “Hey.” Piper tipped her head to the side.